Hi! My name is Amanda Crew. You might know me as "that girl on that tv show" but what you might not know is that I had an eating disorder. It’s something that I hid for many years because I was ashamed. From the outside it might have looked like I was just consumed by food, calories & exercise — and this was true — but the more pervasive war was on the inside where I was broken by unprocessed childhood rape that I was too terrified to face.

In all honesty, my ED was a genius coping device. It became a way to feel in control when my entire world felt so out of control. When I restricted what I ate, I felt a sense of accomplishment. Like I was on track and finally getting something right. It was a drug that filled me with dopamine every time I hit it, and I got addicted to that high. But like any drug, it started to lose its kick. So I had to keep pushing it further and further to continue to get my fix. And I did, restricting more and more, exercising harder and longer, getting higher and higher…until that high landed me in the hospital.

It’s been over ten years since I began the difficult and LOOOONG road to recovery, which was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and also the most important. I’m incredibly proud of my recovery, but it wasn’t until the events of this year that I really woke up to the amount of PRIVILEGE that granted me my recovery. Yes I worked hard for it, but I’m also white, thin, had health insurance and the money to afford it. These are privileges that *most* don’t have. Especially in BIPOC & LGBTQ communities.

This beast is hard enough to overcome if you DO fit the mold, but what about those who don’t? Who are dismissed because they aren’t underweight? Or discriminated against because they’re trans? Or silenced because they’re Black? Or gaslit by their own doctors because they’re fat? Denied because they can’t afford it?

It pains me to hear these stories and that is why I’m fundraising for Project HEAL. They’re breaking down the barriers to make sure EVERYONE has access to treatment. My goal is to raise $5,000 and match every gift dollar for dollar up to $5,000, for a total of $10K given to support BIPOC & LGBTQ+ people who need and deserve healing. 

Bonus: any angel who donates $500+ will get a Zoom hang with me. 

Thank you so much for considering a donation to Project HEAL.